Thursday, 6 August 2015

On Adam Sandler and his type of comedy

I’m one of those who hate Adam Sandler with a passion because (yes, I will elaborate), because he perpetuates a type of comedy that bases itself on being stupid and demeaning. The main character is an arrogant, selfish, stuck in his own head stupid asshole who inadvertently and on purpose is mean to people and animals around him, but go through some sort of redemption arch so that we’ll sympathize with him in the end, forgetting all the lives he ruined to get there (see Nostalgia Critic’s review of Eight Crazy Nights for a good example). 
During the first part of this video they mention a list of things one expects to see in an Adam Sandler movie, which also perfectly lists why I hate them, as well as talk about how these movies are really just a big scam to advertise and earn their actors money. 

There’s a reason the Mr. Bean movies didn’t work, there’s a reason the Pink Panther remake didn’t work, you cannot do a movie based solely around the concept that your character is an inadvertent asshole that hurts other people, and yet, this is the only thing Adam Sandler does, and he gets away with it! 

To be fair, I’ve seen very few Sandler movies, I didn’t like the two I’ve seen (Hotel Transylvania doesn’t count!), so most of my impressions of his work comes from the horrible trailers, like Click, where they showed me Sandler slowing down a woman to look at her boobs, which, to be fair, was a great way to tell me never to see it, not a good way to make me watch his stuff, but even just from the trailers I feel I’m justified in giving these movies flack for keeping alive the dickish, childish humor, where we laugh at others getting in trouble, and creates an audience for things like this: https://youtu.be/ScMOyURq9os where straight up murdering a cow is played for laughs in the trailer. 

(And yes, I do not like the original National Lampoon movies for the same reason I don’t like this new remake trailer. I can’t stand when animal cruelty is played for laughs. It’s one of the best ways to get me to stop being entertained and instead feel just sad and frustrated. Killing sentient beings shouldn’t be amusing!)

Friday, 19 June 2015

AG Sins - Syberia: Kate Walker is an asshole


I love Syberia, it’s still one of my top 10 games, and the journey you and Kate take throughout the 2 games is both fulfilling and emotional, but it’s also home to one of the worst examples of “I can’t touch that” puzzles in video game history. 
Not only does she refuse to pick up the oar because it’s “dirty and wet”, not only does she treat the poor kid as a grunt, having him do everything for her after asking for “help”, but she could have just walked over the stupid river, it’s what, 2 feet of tranquil water?! 
Is this how you treat other people Kate? 

Syberia is a 2002 point and click adventure designed by Benoît Sokal and developed by Microïds. It was released on Steam by Anuman, who’s supposedly developing Syberia III.

Saturday, 6 June 2015

Impressions: Retrograde


Time travel is always a difficult subject to get right, it's especially difficult when you have a low budget B sci-fi movie that apparently couldn't afford a continuity checker.. 
If nothing else, Retrograde gave me a bigger appreciation of Dolph Lundgren as an actor (since all the others seemed to have been hired on a clause of "no out-acting our main lead"), and managed the rather impressive feat of making me want the sole female cast member dead, more than any of the others. 

Also, they exploded a flying helicopter with one pistol shot. 

During the movie I was seriously annoyed by the casting choices; why was the only other good actor playing a security guard/secondary romantic interest for the lady instead of the main villain? Well, according to Imdb he had been cast as the main villain, but Lundgren demanded him downgraded. 



Way to be confident in your acting ability dude.

Wednesday, 13 May 2015

Broken Age thoughts


Finished Broken Age. It's fine, cute, extremely pretty, well animated, gorgeous art-style, amazing voice acting, and in the end just like Double Fine's other games; it lacks impact and staying-power. 

More than the art style, or the animated sequences, the story is what makes it a "kid's game" for me, it's just so light, so shallow, and what started as a really interesting story about breaking the mold and rebelling against family and societal constructs just turns into a bog-standard sci-fi plot, where everyone switches long held opinions and beliefs on a dime. 

Most jarring is the supposed "connection" between the two main characters who never meet face-to-face (until the end) everyone seems to be harping on about, and the rewiring puzzles that require knowledge you as a player have acquired from playing both stories, but the protagonists themselves would have no way of knowing. 
It's just so crude, a desperate attempt to make sure you alternate between the two characters, to make sure you follow the story parallels (though it stops being a parallel a while in, and just turns into the same story told with 2 different people) 

Don't get me wrong, it's a worthwhile play-through, several side-characters are fun to interact with, with their own small story-lines, and the best voice acting I've ever heard in an adventure game, and it's such a pretty game to look at, 
but in the end, what I'll remember from this game is the small side-story about the Dead Eye God's guards, which I thought was cute, funny, adorable and genuinely surprising. 
I was left with more warm, fuzzy feelings after that little section, than the entirety of act 2.

Friday, 1 May 2015

Bit-size impressions: Hudson Hawk


Hudson Hawk (1991) is really one big mess of a movie. Part sight-seeing ad, part heist movie, trying to be a comedy, plot all over the place, while all the actors seem to be confused about just what kind of movie they're playing in, they're definitely not playing the same genre. 

I'll give it credit for making me like David Caruso though, since his silent, absurd character at least surprises me..

Wednesday, 8 April 2015

Motive series "review"



I’m wishy-washy about Motive. I didn’t really like the first season, I thought it just repeated all the common crime series plots with an abrasive female as the main, but I loved the second season, when the stories became grey-toned and the murderers all had reasons (often quite good ones) for what happened (and they fleshed out the main cast). But this season seems more interested in show-casing their guest actors than telling interesting stories (it seems to be trying a “victim wasn’t killed for the obvious motive” red thread this season as well).

I’m afraid it’s doing a “Body of Proof” (meh first season, great second season, series-ending third season. That series just went insane its last season).. :S

With the loss of Perception (which I really didn’t like in the beginning, it was too focused on his “special ability”/illness and he “just happened” to always give lectures on the episode’s plot, but grew into a intriguing procedural with a strong sub-plot (though I really wish they hadn’t done the whole ex-husband romance thing) and Forever (which I didn’t like until the reveal that he is his son, then I got interested at once), I’m losing most of the crime series I’m actively following.
I’ve only got Major Crimes (which I absolutely, totally adore) and Criminal Minds (which I’ve been meh about the last 2 seasons. Most of the stories are not working any more) left on my “crime series I watch when they air” list. Well, and Brooklyn Nine-Nine sort of (I don’t qualify NCIS: Los Angeles. I like it, I watch it, it is in no way crime-solving).

Thursday, 2 April 2015

Impressions: Pillars of Eternity

Damn you Obsidian. I just want to help people, foster peace and save the world, not judge impossible situations, try to pick the lesser of 2 evils or be forced to choose sides in bloody conflicts.

Was it right to end the zealot, insane, witch hunting lord, so that his ruthless, megalomaniac cousin could take the rule instead? Was it right to save a selfish, small-minded man's reputation, ruining my rep with the rebels and forcing me into a collaboration with the status-hungry knights? Was it right to kill a whole team of guards and the daughter of the ruthless, dominant trading house to save a black-market dealer (they did attack me, but I did go against them)?
I have no idea!

I spend most of my time in Pillars of Eternity being indecisive, trying to help where I can, being as diplomatic as i can and constantly wondering if I'm not just causing more harm than good. And being perpetually poor..

I just gave a hooker 6000 copper for a medallion she stole off a nobleman, so that she could start a new life, and so that a poor refugee can take his sacred relic back to his old hometown and try to rebuild his lost community (unless he lied to me).

As you can see, I'm totally invested.

Thursday, 5 March 2015

Bit-size impressions: My Babysitter's a Vampire - the Series

"My babysitter's a vampire" is a surprisingly good kid/teen series. I think it's a nickelodeon series or something (I watched it on Netflix), and although both the concept and the monster of the week plots are entirely standard, the nerdy characters and how they parody popular culture while being aware of their own unoriginality makes it funny and interesting to watch.

Monday, 16 February 2015

Bit-size impressions: Pitch Perfect (and Bring it On)


I feel so out of character, not only did I rent a movie on play store, we watched a "girl" movie. Having said that, Pitch Perfect was really fun, but totally carried by its secondary characters (fat Amy, Benji, Asian girl), and while I thought this movie was better then Bring it On overall, I think Bring it On did the "outsider girl being forced into a community group, getting friends, falling out and reinventing the group" plot better.

And I so cared more about Benji's side story than anything else. So happy when he was *spoiler*. 
The songs are great. Planning on seeing Pitch Perfect 2 (and I want to watch Bring it On, again..)

Monday, 12 January 2015

First impressions: Hatoful Boyfriend

I expected a branching, stereotypical romance story with some humour inserted, but there's actually a lot more to Hatoful Boyfriend than it seems at first. I really enjoyed the murder mystery and the hints to a larger meta-plot you slowly gather by playing the different romances. The fantasy sub-plot I ended up on by accident was also quite unique. It seems you can beat "the evil tree" by being stupid but fit..

Also, the Doctor romance really demands that you ignore all the signs and keep going down a path you know will end badly, and fully recognizes it. I was so happy to be told I was an idiot for following that path.
(And I ended up doing both the teacher romance plots first, even though I don't normally like student/teacher romance stories, heh)


Addendum 8.9.2015 - Having finished this game this first impression is really doing a disservice to the full game. I really should write a proper review of Hatoful Boyfriend and its BL story.

Sunday, 4 January 2015

Bit-size impressions: Cat. 8

The "category" series (it's not a series at all, just 3 disaster mini-series all based around "category" disaster warnings) have gotten progressively higher budget, better actors and more unrealistic. Cat. 8 was a straight up spaghetti sci-fi, with a villainy defense Secretary and one of the smartest presidents I've seen (after they killed the president in a really stupid accident and upgraded the vice-president).


I preferred Category 6. Its bad acting and insane dialogue was at least funny. This one just annoyed me with its "science".

(and yes, I do on purpose watch all the (bad) sci-fi and disaster b-movies on Netflix, so I do know what I'm getting myself into)

Tuesday, 30 December 2014

This is why I don't do poetry

On the last episode of Top Chef they had to make dishes based on famous New-England writers. One contestant chose Poe - the Raven and described it as a sad and mournful love story about a man who’d lost his beloved, and I seriously went “the Raven is a love story? Since when? I’ve got to reread the Raven”. 

I see the mentions of Lenore when rereading it, but it’s not what I would have focused on in an analysis. 
For me the Raven has always been about a lonely, old man’s decent into depression and paranoia/madness, being haunted by the very thing providing him a semblance of the companionship he seeks. 
The Raven both driving him further into paranoia and madness, while at the same time jolting him out of it by providing a constant presence, and taunting him with the idea that he’ll never have companionship again. (while the Raven in itself is a sign that he’s lost his grasp of reality) 

After all, Lenore is gone, it’s a love lost, it’s more a tragedy than a love story, and I’ve always thought the loneliness he’s experiencing is the focus, not the lost love in itself. 
Also, I seem to be reading the poem a bit more severely than other people. 

It’s just realizing again that I’ve been missing a huge, obvious part of the poem, which is part of the “standard” analysis of it, and would’ve caused me to score badly if I ever were to write about it on a test. 
Bah.

Monday, 29 December 2014

The Elf who didn't Believe


Wow, "the elf who didn't believe".. Shoe string budget, director, writer and most actors from soft core films and the most annoying score I've ever heard. 
There was a semblance of a good story in there, but it wasn't developed, and the actors that did a good job seemed to just be acting in their own little world. 

Still amusing enough because of the over the top evil "Mr. Slick" and the incredibly sarcastic butler "Whitlock". 
Also, the slapstick elements at the end were surprisingly good.

Saturday, 16 August 2014

Bit-size impressions: Make Mine Music



Rewatching for the nth time for Johnnie Fedora and Alice Bluebonnet with the Andrew Sisters and The Whale who wanted to sing at the Met with the amazing Nelson Eddy. 
I'll never get tired of these gems.